Internship Seeker Gifts

"It's an intern-eat-intern world out there!"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

' A good idea '

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

Robotic Man

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Hey weirdo, where do you think you're going?'

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

Robots In The Boardroom

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

Laptop Dancing.

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

How are you at decision making?

"Early model of baggage claim"

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."