Internet User With Patience Pillows

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Likes: $2.

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

Man doing a search on a computer

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

'Do you have 4G up here?'

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"Home is where the WiFi is."

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"

I e-bay t-shirt.

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

>Enter new password: BEEF STEW >Password not stroganoff.

'Another big newspaper just went out of business.', 'How did you hear about that?', 'I read it on the internet.'

'Melvin, you're trying my patience.'

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

"'Can correctly complete a CAPTCHA image 8 our of 10 times.' Any other skills?"

Scientist researching animal droppings is looking at Faeces Book on the computer.

Snail crossing

"I wish you people would just read the blog."