Internet Trends Watcher Pillows

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Isn't there an app for this?"

'Why don't you use more blue? -- Blue is very popular these days.'

'Tech stocks rose on news that nerds are now considered 'hip'.'

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"I'm not sure cuteness counts as a core competency? but hey if it gets hits, you're on."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

'You see, I didn't lie, the Internet is full of puppy and kitten videos: We could make a fortune!'

#notblessed

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'

'With our marketing budget so limited our best chance is to make commercials that are SO bad that they'll go viral.'

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

"Halloween stuff already? It's August!"

"Remarkable, but I'd feel so much better about it if we knew what the hell we're doing right."

Sales Research shows it's too big for them to carry home, sir.

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

"Yeah, but this is a cat on a skateboard being arrested by a cop with a tattoo of the Confederate flag!"

Fries with that Burgers: 'I lost my job to robot in Japan.'

"You're all hashtag summarily dismissed."

"It's a battle of wills - I'm refusing to do anything for his 'funny cat videos' web page."

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

"Something photogenic for each of us."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

'Bandwagon Marketing & Advertising... Specializing in political candidates.'