Internet Security Analyst Gifts

The One Place the NSA Can't See

It's the new internet copyright security program.

'He's been a lot better behaved since getting that laptop.'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

The Anti-Agent

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"National security adviser"

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'Wouldn't it be cheaper to apologise to the Middle East?'

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"Careful! He knows computers."