Internet Romeo Pillows

"My webcam is on the fritz. Let me email you a photo of myself at twenty one and in the best shape of my life."

"Talk nerdy to me."

Right click for yes...

Online Dating

'Mum, I don't care what these nasty kids say about my brothers Romulus and Remus being adopted: I love them all the same...'

Workplace Shinanigans

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

They came...they saw...they conga'd.

The Original Gossip Columns

"It's five post meridiem in Central Europe. Compliled form the major networks the news is next."

'Yes, you sing. But do you dance and make romance?'

"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"

'Look! Fat George must be back in town!'

Four weddings, three divorces & a funeral

Net Bubbie

"You're gettin' too big for your dang britches."

Galápagos Cowboy

Keep your remarks varied but within context...like listening to Pandora.

'Stop that! We're not on holiday now!'

"It's boy meets girl, boy and girl do everything you've seen in every other movie."

'Still not punchy enough. Try putting NERO all in capitals...'

'Just so you know . . . when that gate opens, I'm going to stop, drop, and roll. Big time.'

'We come as a package - Mother and me.'

Vicar says: 'You again.'

'Roy proposed to me in an email, but my spam filter rejected it.'

'Dressage?! But Son, what about something more virile like Rodeo or Polo?'

"I guess I must be the early bird."

'Let me know if you want me to adjust the webcam.'

Cupid views his online credit rating.

It's a letter from Romulus and Remus thanking me for feeding them...Now, isn't that sweet...

I dont care what your life coach told you. You don't get to choose your battles.

You Don't Know Me But I Work Across The Road.

'It was just a matter of time, old cowpuncher, 'til one of them punched back.'

'Whoa, just who says 'They shoot horses?''

'I knew I shouldn't have come. That Maximus, throws the worst orgies!'