Rome Lover Pillows

'Mum, I don't care what these nasty kids say about my brothers Romulus and Remus being adopted: I love them all the same...'

It's a letter from Romulus and Remus thanking me for feeding them...Now, isn't that sweet...

You're my Mona Lisa.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

'How about a game of cards?'

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"I can't wait to introduce you to all the people I used to be friends with, before I started spending all my time with you."

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Dragon and Dragoff

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

Statue is moved to hold up the leaning tower of Pisa.

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

Da Vinci painting a grumpy version of Mona Lisa.

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

Cowboy uses his hat for a private kiss.

The Thinker / The Kiss.

Happiness is a cuddle woolen pullover on a cold winter day.

Snake Eyes

'This way, we'll always have rose petals on the bed. Pretty romantic, huh?'

'The knights are drawing closer'

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

Mermaids in love

"I hope I'm not embarrassing you, Elaine... I guess I've always been a fool for love."

"Remember? I was sitting right up there when you came by and said 'Hi, beautiful!'"