Rome Lover Pillows

'Mum, I don't care what these nasty kids say about my brothers Romulus and Remus being adopted: I love them all the same...'

It's a letter from Romulus and Remus thanking me for feeding them...Now, isn't that sweet...

You're my Mona Lisa.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

'How about a game of cards?'

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"I can't wait to introduce you to all the people I used to be friends with, before I started spending all my time with you."

Dragon and Dragoff

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

Da Vinci painting a grumpy version of Mona Lisa.

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

Statue is moved to hold up the leaning tower of Pisa.

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

Cowboy uses his hat for a private kiss.

The Thinker / The Kiss.

Happiness is a cuddle woolen pullover on a cold winter day.

'This way, we'll always have rose petals on the bed. Pretty romantic, huh?'

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

Mermaids in love

Snake Eyes

"I hope I'm not embarrassing you, Elaine... I guess I've always been a fool for love."

'The knights are drawing closer'

"I don't know what happened, your holiness! I painted the ENTIRE CEILING!"