Internet Privacy Gifts

"Good afternoon, Ted. I'm your online presence."

"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"

"Every time I click 'accept' for these online user agreements, a piece of my soul dies."

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

"I guess I forgot to disable cookies before we started hiking."

"No, the billboards are not based on our search history."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

Internet spy...

"Your web shopping data and browser history tell a very different story."

'The best way to protect your privacy is through a flood of misinformation obscuring the truth.'

"Please enter the last 4 digits of your SSN...or enter all 9. They're all over the dark web."

'Internet privacy is important and worth protecting. That's exactly what I just wrote on my nude picture binge drinking blog!'

Take the apple, but don't accept any cookies.

Social media and privacy

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

The Anti-Agent

Hate Platforms

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Club Antisocial

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

Next gen pregnancy tests.

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

Privacy Conference Security

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."