Internet Humor Aficionados Gifts

'Somebody posted his hidden agendas on the Internet.'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

Tunnel of Love/Lover's Leap.

Ahh! The sounds of nature! Peep peep. Tweet tweet! Twitter. Croak croak. Sniff sniff. Ribbit. Human nature. Twitter twitter. Tippity tap tap. Cackle cackle! Bleep bleep.

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Unemotional Support Animal

Stairlift around cliff face.

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

Stormy weather

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

"Very Presidential."

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

Cheating Death.

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

Chasebook

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

Ted did have some concerns about the appearance of nepotism.

Watchdog on Holiday

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com