Internet Dweller Gifts

'Fred has stuff on his PC that isn't PC at all!'

Your new super-cool best friend, the algorithm!

I hear we're called gen txt. It's demeaning. Suggests our lives revolve 'round shallow misspelled missives. No dout! You're not helping me here. Y U usin big words? Hirz link 2 utube vid of cat pukin. Awsum!

'Cheer up babe, there's worse things than being unfriended on Facebook!!'

'Mom, how did people force their 'Look At me' moments down your throat before Facebook?'

"I'm furious - I've looked at Twitter and Facebook and can't find anything to be offended by."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

City Boy.

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

"Because webmasters don't take out the trash, that's why"

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

Travelogue

"I can’t believe you’re doing this! I have abandonment issues! Abandonment issues!!!"

"Come and get it!"

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

"The dangers of texting while walking #17"

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"Now you can stop watching those cute cat videos."

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a