Internet Diagnosis Fans Pillows

"I looked up your rash online. Have you recently been to one of the moons of Saturn? Or, it could just be poison ivy."

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

Workplace Confidentiality.

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

'Of course I just retweet everything I see - I'm a parrot.'

"I do miss the crystal ball."

'I had a great time tonight. I'd like to see you again in about six months.'

"That's not what it says on the Web."

'Take two of these and visit my website in the morning.'

You Will Find a Nearby Restaurant!

Godzilla's Security Question

"Well, your reflexes are fine."

"Nurse! Call the doctor, I've found out what is wrong with me."

"How's the self-diagnosis coming?"

"I'm rather enjoying this." - Moth interrogation under spot light

"Sorry, but I don't see the 'Litter Box Challenge' going viral."

The first ever novel written entirely in emoticons.

Frequently used emojis, spring 2020

'Tyler, I'm afraid you've been autocorrected in favor of Taylor.'

Trump Tweets

"Hey Tony, you're a young guy. What sort of emoji goes with, 'Pay what you owe us, you lousy bum, or we're coming over there to break your legs'?"

"I don't care what it said when you looked up your symptoms on the internet. You arenot Anorexic."

"I'm very impressed with your web research,this self-diagnosis would be 100% accurate...if you were a Patagonian fruit bat!"

'For now, just watch it -- we can dissect the plot later!'

Modern Post, Post Modern

Barr and the Mueller-Report

'It's hurtful enough you diagnose yourself on the internet, but then to call me a 'second opinion!''

"We met through an internet chat group. Now he wants to mail me his digitalised sperm."