Interior Designer Pillows

"You know your dog better than I do."

"Of course, we can do spare and minimalist, but not on your budget."

"I want our divorce to have a country farmhouse feeling."

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

Woman shops while man sets up noose. "Do I go with bright white, deep white...."

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

Since we've remodeled, you are no longer here.

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'Well, why didn't you say you wanted the office to be functional?'

'Something in warm, earth tones. I'm sick of white.'

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

"Remember when all we had was lots of little pillows?"

'Is this a piece of artwork or one of our charts?'

A painter has painted himself into a tight spot and is stuck.

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

Ceiling Paint

'Kitchen's small, but I love the granite countertops.'

Which one? The Times? The Post? Maybe The Tribune? Oh, Phil - Picking out a carpet is so difficult.

Summer Decorating

"Hey, I love what you've done with the office."

"So how do you like these new cylindricals?"

"I hope you sat me next to someone who wants to hear all about my bathroom renovation."

"Can't we just get some load-bearing wallpaper?"

'This guy's FAST!'

"Take a seat and I'll get right to the point. We're looking for someone with lots of imagination."

"Our dream is to live long enough to see the end of our renovation."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'I installed all the floor tiles by myself. I did it all by tile and error.'

'Job done son, a few corners slightly out of true but the customer will never notice.'

'Frank Lloyd Wright, Perspective, Floor plan, elevation'

'Of course, the one you buy would be upright. This is just the floor model.'

'I just love the way you've done the stone cladding.'

Meanwhile back at the pond 'Wow... nice pad man!'

'No, not disappointed - I think I just hadn't realised the meaning of the term kitchen island.'