Interior Design Connoisseur T-Shirts

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Painting the Ceiling

Fittd shēt

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

Waiting Room Quarterly

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

Clown couple in bed with wavy mirror above their bed.

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'I love what you've not done with the place.'

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

"I worry about you, Dinkins. . . you seem to be losing the big picture."

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

Castle Realty. Of course, for resale value, I'd suggest converting the dungeon into a rec room.

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

"That's still too high"

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."