Interior Design Connoisseur Gifts

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Painting the Ceiling

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Fittd shēt

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Waiting Room Quarterly

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

Clown couple in bed with wavy mirror above their bed.

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'I love what you've not done with the place.'

"I worry about you, Dinkins. . . you seem to be losing the big picture."

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

"That's still too high"