Interior Design Fanatic Gifts

All this place needs is splash of paint and some pretty drapes.

Clown couple in bed with wavy mirror above their bed.

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"Don't pretend you didn't notice the Anderson's new doorstops, too! They put ours to shame!"

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Painting the Ceiling

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Fittd shēt

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

Waiting Room Quarterly

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'I love what you've not done with the place.'

"I worry about you, Dinkins. . . you seem to be losing the big picture."

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

Castle Realty. Of course, for resale value, I'd suggest converting the dungeon into a rec room.

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."