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"As them if I can have the bottle when it's empty - it'll make a really nice table lamp."

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

That adds life! Before we installed the carpet, I looked down and saw nothing except a blank stair!

The dark side of computer-aided design.

Carpet fitting at New Year's Day. 'Out with the old, in with the new'.

'Are we indoors or outdoors?'

Cavemen Printing Animal Art

"Hal said he had big dreams...so he bought this bed."

"Ghah! I hung the new mirror upside down!"

"I can't believe they don't sell toilets!"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"The knights of the round accent table"

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Cat statues on entrance gate

Fittd shēt

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Board Game Hunter

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Waiting Room Quarterly

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'