Interior Decor Aficionados T-Shirts

New! Corduroy Pillows! They're making headlines!

'The Feng Shui of this auditorium must be off.'

Rainbow of light from an anglepoise desk lamp

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Fittd shēt

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"The knights of the round accent table"

"You're welcome."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Waiting Room Quarterly

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"I worry about you, Dinkins. . . you seem to be losing the big picture."

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

Cat being licked by plant.

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

Has socks and foot stools of every kind sale.

"That's still too high"