Interior Decor Aficionados T-Shirts

New! Corduroy Pillows! They're making headlines!

'The Feng Shui of this auditorium must be off.'

Rainbow of light from an anglepoise desk lamp

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"The knights of the round accent table"

"You're welcome."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Fittd shēt

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

Waiting Room Quarterly

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"I worry about you, Dinkins. . . you seem to be losing the big picture."

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

Has socks and foot stools of every kind sale.

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

"That's still too high"

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

Cat being licked by plant.