Intergenerational Thinker Pillows

"Quite frankly I can't wait to see how your generation messes up everything."

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

"Nice haircut."

"Date of birth?" "1989." "In 1989 I couldn't make ice... still can't." "Good lord, she could be my daughter! I'm so #!@* old." "That's the year my wife left me. Now I have a cold and I'm depressed!"

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

'You're lucky you're just a kid and don't have to worry about things like going out and getting a job when you're supposed to be retired.'

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

"That's right, son. God knew everything before Google."

'He was an impressionist. Like that Alistair McGowan...'

"Someday when you have children of your own, you’ll understand why I dress you like ‘an idiot.’"

"It's the Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."

"We want to make sure that your wish for us to give you grandchildren has nothing to do with your concerns about future vacancies at your chicken processing plant."

"Hey, Gramps. You believe in life after death?" "Boy. At my age I'm not even sure about life after my morning BM."

"Dad, how does the outdoors work without batteries?"

"Boy of a girl?! Don't you think it's a little early to be assigning gender?"

"The floor is now open for discussion of what to name ou generation."

New Age: Retirement Plan

'Grandpa, what was the most romantic thing you ever tweeted grandma?'

"I can't image growing up without computers or cell phones. Your generation had it rough, huh, Dad?"

Contest time. Mort and Sadie, our ornery octogenarians, have decided to rename Rudy's generation. Mort favors Generation I - for impatient. Sadie prefers Generation V - for virtual. Or vapid! What do you think? Please send your own ideas to asksadieshow@gmail.com. C'mon people, get thinkin'!

"How did people waste time before computers?"

"I'm going to e-mail you this op-ed about how your generation is ruining everything."

"I invited my friends over so we can see how much your generation is leaving us to pay off!"

"So, when you young execs talk about 'phoning it in' there's no actual phone involved?"

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, My mother doesn't want me to get a tattoo, but I disagree. I believe that a tattoo would be very attractive. What do you think? - Jessica, rebellious daughter. *(Actual reader letter). Is this serious? Is this a real letter? They're all real. I am stunned. Stunned? What is wrong with children? Defying their mothers? Do you know what would happen if we had defied our parents like that? What? They'd have sent us to live in the old country with our illiterate cousins who left

When you get to be my age, you start to notice certain patterns in the river of history. You start to notice, for instance, that the winner always loses. What's that mean? Every great power defines itself as the opposite of its main enemy. Once that enemy is defeated, the great power loses its virtues, its unity ... even its identity. The great power then either creates new enemies, or it fades into history. (Yawn) Old people talk a lot. What I'm saying is, you were not my first "Rudy Park," and

'Please call me Phil. Dad was my dad's name.'

"Frankly, we're at a loss, so we're looking for someone young and stupid to tell us what to do."

"Why do you look very old, Grannie?"

"When I was young, we had a lot of hair and no tattoos. Now everything's all reversed."

Generation Hexed

Whatever in the Sixties?

"If the average attention span is 8 seconds, why are most commercials 30 seconds?"

'Life is easy for you kids these days! When I was a boy...'

"For the sake of diversity, this office needs an old-timer."