Intergenerational Thinker Pillows

"Quite frankly I can't wait to see how your generation messes up everything."

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

"Nice haircut."

"Date of birth?" "1989." "In 1989 I couldn't make ice... still can't." "Good lord, she could be my daughter! I'm so #!@* old." "That's the year my wife left me. Now I have a cold and I'm depressed!"

'You're lucky you're just a kid and don't have to worry about things like going out and getting a job when you're supposed to be retired.'

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

"Someday when you have children of your own, you’ll understand why I dress you like ‘an idiot.’"

'He was an impressionist. Like that Alistair McGowan...'

"It's the Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."

"Boy of a girl?! Don't you think it's a little early to be assigning gender?"

"Hey, Gramps. You believe in life after death?" "Boy. At my age I'm not even sure about life after my morning BM."

"Dad, how does the outdoors work without batteries?"

"We want to make sure that your wish for us to give you grandchildren has nothing to do with your concerns about future vacancies at your chicken processing plant."

"How did people waste time before computers?"

"I can't image growing up without computers or cell phones. Your generation had it rough, huh, Dad?"

New Age: Retirement Plan

"I'm going to e-mail you this op-ed about how your generation is ruining everything."

"So, when you young execs talk about 'phoning it in' there's no actual phone involved?"

"I invited my friends over so we can see how much your generation is leaving us to pay off!"

'Please call me Phil. Dad was my dad's name.'

"Frankly, we're at a loss, so we're looking for someone young and stupid to tell us what to do."

"When I was young, we had a lot of hair and no tattoos. Now everything's all reversed."

"Why do you look very old, Grannie?"

Whatever in the Sixties?

"If the average attention span is 8 seconds, why are most commercials 30 seconds?"

The Primal Scream.

"For the sake of diversity, this office needs an old-timer."