Interest Rate Inquirer Gifts

"I was looking for an annuity that came with a rate that was fixed, not neutered."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

'Of course we have to learn decimals. How else will we be able to compare bank interest rates.'

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

Making borrowing easier

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

Department of Philosophy. Free Why-Fi.

"Don't forget — it's good to give, but even better to get back."

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

'There's no interest on your purchase for a year. Then we become VERY interested in your balance after that.'

Bank of England Base Rates.

'My accounts aren't insured, but it's the risk I take for higher interest rates.'

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

Devil-may-care loans.

Bank. I'm getting zero percent on my savings! We've reached the point of no return.

"According to my actuary tables, your loan will outlive you."

'Here's a hundred bucks -- now, you give me $101.37.'

"Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise."

"I'm here to pay off the last loan installment!"

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

Bankers waking up from cryo-sleep to explain the Fed's interest rate hike to you.

'I'd think that after a $800 billion bailout, you could do better than 1.2% for 11 months.'

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

"We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate."

"I don't know a damn thing about monetary policy,but I know what I like."

"Your money was working for you, but it suddenly quit and now it's working for me!"

"Must you do that every time I say interest rates are bound to rise?"

"Great news! The Fed possibly confirmed that a possible rate hike is possibly possible!"

'Usury' is not a pretty word, Mr. Williams.

"Well Wendy, results were mixed this week - interest rates edged up, while hte lowest common denominator was down. Again."