Interest Rate Enthusiasts Gifts

'Our certificate of Deposit Interest rates may seem low, but I assure you, they are better than anything you can get by leaving your savings under the mattress.'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

'This graph may need some explaining...'

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

"I wrote a letter to the Wall Street Journal saying the term 'Bear Market' makes me look like a loser, but they didn't print it."

"Squawk! Interest rates are going negative!"

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

"Oh, him? He's the guy who changes the interest rate when it's set by the fed."

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

'Of course we have to learn decimals. How else will we be able to compare bank interest rates.'

"Lenders are a lot more cautious about 'interest free' mortgages these days. "

Dog Beginning For A Loan

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

"It covers up all the debt."

Making borrowing easier

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

'I used to chase cars. Now I chase yield.'

Security/Savings

"I know you wanted to go to Paris, Dear, but Spitzbergen has a GREAT exchange rate!"

"You've been a very bad man and we like that. So now, we're going to send you to London."

Don't be too mad baby... I got a great mortgage deal!

'There's no interest on your purchase for a year. Then we become VERY interested in your balance after that.'

Bank of England Base Rates.

'My accounts aren't insured, but it's the risk I take for higher interest rates.'

Bank as a money tree

'Here's a hundred bucks -- now, you give me $101.37.'

"According to my actuary tables, your loan will outlive you."

'You'll need a better credit rating before we can give you a credit card?'

"Before I begin my summation, ladies and gentlemen of the jury... have you considered the benefits of a reverse mortgage."

Bank. I'm getting zero percent on my savings! We've reached the point of no return.

'We're worried about your ability to lend us money.'

The Tooth Accountant