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"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

Characters jumping out of a book.

Sexual chemistry set

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

Christopher Isherwood

Where the Wild Things Summer

It's a picture book. The words aren't called "subtitles."

Getting the bus back into town from the Bologna Children's Book Fair...

'Since you conduct only thought experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought results.'

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

'I hate these cliche situations!'

"I'm not sure if the audience is ready to embrace you in a romantic comedy."

'I don't think therefore I'm not.'

'It's a pop-up book about how ebooks are killing publishing.'

Raymond Queneau

'Hurry up, I'm dying to use the blog'

'Well, it is the complete works of Shakespeare all right, however this pig is claiming he wrote it.'

'He's giving us a final request? Ask for a glass of Beaujolais Nouveau - that'll give us till November.'

The author will be signing books for fifteen minutes.

"Uh uh uh...that's not a touchscreen."

'TV on the blink?'

"Wow, this comedy channel really is hi-def."

"That's the beauty of it — it's a memoir and a children's book!"

"That may not be the best option for printing out your novel."

Cat books

"Your father and I thought it was time you knew. You've been genetically engineered."

The little prince is an alien

"The hardest thing about giving up a life of crime is getting used to relazing at home with a good book."

"Clever plot, but who can concentrate without some gratuitous sex and violence?"

I'm so confused about Star Wars. Anakin Skywalker was good, then he turned into evil Darth Vader. It's just a movie, Timmy. It's important to remember that. Oh. What about Governor Cuomo. The dark side is powerful.

Reading a biography makes me feel like a surgeon. I'm holding a person's life in my hands.

'Goliath! Spent force - Lifetime of drug fuelled addiction. His headline grabbing misdemeanours have sapped his energies.'

'Book within a Book'

The Never Ending Story

"Darling, are you ready - I thought we'd try it on a bed of wilted spinach."