Intelligentsia Enthusiast Gifts

Pretentious man reads Culture supplement, saying: 'I don't know much about art but I know what to pretend to like.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Use your imagination.

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Storm in a magic lamp.

"Nihilistic customer service"

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

The Smell of Fear

"Caption contest"

Business Sisyphus

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'Oh, I'm okay, I guess - I just thought enlightenment would be more FUN than this.'

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

Emergency Disguise at the CIA

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

OM, SWEET OM

X-RAY

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

Truth

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'