Intelligentsia Enthusiast Gifts

Pretentious man reads Culture supplement, saying: 'I don't know much about art but I know what to pretend to like.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Use your imagination.

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Storm in a magic lamp.

"Nihilistic customer service"

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

The Smell of Fear

"Caption contest"

Business Sisyphus

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

X-RAY

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

OM, SWEET OM

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

'Oh, I'm okay, I guess - I just thought enlightenment would be more FUN than this.'

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

Truth

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

Man falls off perch

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."