Intelligent Design Debater Gifts

'You call THAT intelligent design?'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

The Proust of Twitter

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

Science Snobs

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

"Ruddy AI. Bad enough to be replaced by a computer, never mind a COFFEE MAKER."

I can't keep up, Randy. What happened, little buddy? You know how I created a hate-bot to automate my back you up in online arguments business? Don't tell me: The Russian troll farms beat you to it. No. My hate-bot became sentient and created an even snarkier hate-bot. Mankind is officially obsolete. For an extra $1, the HB-1000 will throw in racism and misogyny.

"Sorry, Man! I had no idea Alexa would be here!"

High Tech/Low Tech.

"I can tell you about this article or you can just read the comments online."

"We went with an open floor plan because it can really facilitate a shared sense of hysteria."

Philosophie.fr Bulletin Board - 1936

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

"Wow! I never knew the Vancouver Island marmot is among the rarest animals in the world! Pretty cool, huh?"

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

Big people always make a mess of things phobia: 'Let's play grownups. You'll be for busing and I'll be against it.'

Frank and Ernest's Cerebral Questions. Today's question is would an "elbowhead" be smarter or dumber than a "knucklehead"? (Published originally on October 12, 2015.)

'Don't internalise that simmering rage -- get it out of your system on website comments sections.'

Rudy, be reasonable. We can't have a functioning media if everyone starts putting up their own stories on the web. We need professional ethics. We need editing. We need fact-checking. We need

"Yeah yeah, nice, but how many online followers do you have?"

"The hive mind has reached a consensus about 'Wolverine'."

Humpty Dumpty sat on a paywall.

"Actually, you don't have a pinched nerve...your underwear is too tight!"

Framing. Folks, how about leaving two inches between the picture and frame? More! No, less! the border is a very controversial subject.

You! Are thick magazine.

"Ugh... Jerry Saltz is totally junking up my feed again."

'A second opinion would be appreciated only if confirms my opinion.'