Intelligence Work Gifts

'Any other counter-terrorism experience besides driving a junior high school bus?'

'Damn, I've forgotten my real name.'

"I know we have some invisible ink somewhere but we can never find it..."

The Anti-Agent

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

Burning the midnight oil.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Work Parfait

"National security adviser"

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

Multi-tasking.

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

Back to work...

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

CIA report

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"