Intellectual Quipster Pillows

Egg Head

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

Scarcity

Archimedes statue with a lever

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

Schrödinger and his cat

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'

'Is the water cold?'

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'What's the fist thing you're going to think of when your brain is fully formed?'

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

"The studio's asked me to see if I can dumb down some Danielle Steel."

"The problem is you say Nietzsche and expect everything to be just peachy."

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

Axel, I notice you read a lot of highbrow books

Auguste Comte

'What a gyp! Yesterday, after I got fixed, I put my testicles under my pillow, and all I got was a quarter!'

'I, pink, therefore, I ham...'

'Heidegger-Hi!'

Official Seal

Vladimir Nabokov

"I'm catching up on my inertia."

'I'm left brained and I needed some right brains.'

Revenge of the Latchkey Kids

Raymond Queneau

Clever pitbulls.