Intellectual Pitcher Gifts

The Giamatti era

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

"So, what are you reading?"

"Have you been working out?"

Football team discussions.

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

'I'll take the one on the right.'

'Checkmate!'

The Ascent of Man.

Baseball Dreams

"Care for an oxymoron?"

Academic Affairs: The Chair of Philosophy Corners the Chair of the Sciences

Older than Nolan Ryan and still pitching

'Yes, Haffner appears to be tiring...'

"O.K., Chief! Hang on to your socks!"

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

Nature vs. Nietzsche.

Department de Philosophie

"No one is denying that you're smart. For that to happen someone would have to say you're smart."

'I think things went wrong for me in the fifth round.' 'In hindsight, was that a good time to begin meditating?'

'I don't know what he sees in her - she can't even freeze an embryo.'

Looking Daggers

Pitching Tryouts. Never mind the fastball. They grade on a curve here.

"You've just proven that your job doesn't exist."

Look, Rusty, your fastball's working and your sinker's dropping perfectly. But if you can't stop chasing the ball after you throw it, I'm gonna have to put you down -- In the minors, Rusty. Oh! You should see your face!

'One pundit tonight is from a think tank, the other writes 'Books for Dummies'.'

'I think globally but I drink locally!'

'So much for the question of whether of whether or not a curveball really curves.'

"I've been thinking harder than you have, and my thought experiment disproves your thought experiment."

'She's a good coach, and the kids seem to like her. But I still think someone should at least run a background check.'