Intellectual Sparring Fan Gifts

'One pundit tonight is from a think tank, the other writes 'Books for Dummies'.'

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"Okay, quote me. I'm on the record."

Self Raising Flour

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

Academic Affairs: The Chair of Philosophy Corners the Chair of the Sciences

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

Nature vs. Nietzsche.

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

"We should have taken a eweber."

Department de Philosophie

'I think things went wrong for me in the fifth round.' 'In hindsight, was that a good time to begin meditating?'

'When are you gonna get me some real competition?'

'Sculptor'

A poison pen fights a poison mic.

"I've been thinking harder than you have, and my thought experiment disproves your thought experiment."

No Pontificating in the Bean Bag Chair

'Remind me again darling - what were we just arguing about?'

'What do you mean, 'you can read me like a book'? You've never read a book!'

"Oh, it's you."

'I've gone over the fight tapes and I think I've pinpointed your weakness.'

'I say it doesn't matter what you believe as long as you're sincere.', 'Who do you think you're kidding?'

Chi Kick

'Let's give him a couple more minutes, but it looks like we've got ourselves a bum who can't fight his way out of a paper bag.'

Poor Zhok, the only Homo Sapien in a Neanderthal neighborhood.

Jung vs Freud.

'Your personals ad said you sold stocks.'