Intellectual Sparring Fan Gifts

'One pundit tonight is from a think tank, the other writes 'Books for Dummies'.'

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"Okay, quote me. I'm on the record."

Mega Pharmaceuticals Legal Dept. What if we claim a generic knockoff of our miracle drug is blasphemous?

Academic Affairs: The Chair of Philosophy Corners the Chair of the Sciences

Self Raising Flour

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

Nature vs. Nietzsche.

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

"We should have taken a eweber."

Department de Philosophie

'Sculptor'

'I think things went wrong for me in the fifth round.' 'In hindsight, was that a good time to begin meditating?'

A poison pen fights a poison mic.

'When are you gonna get me some real competition?'

'Remind me again darling - what were we just arguing about?'

Theoresentful

'What do you mean, 'you can read me like a book'? You've never read a book!'

No Pontificating in the Bean Bag Chair

"I've been thinking harder than you have, and my thought experiment disproves your thought experiment."

"Oh, it's you."

'I've gone over the fight tapes and I think I've pinpointed your weakness.'

'I say it doesn't matter what you believe as long as you're sincere.', 'Who do you think you're kidding?'

'Let's give him a couple more minutes, but it looks like we've got ourselves a bum who can't fight his way out of a paper bag.'

Chi Kick

"You got him running scared, kid. He thinks he might actually kill you."

Poor Zhok, the only Homo Sapien in a Neanderthal neighborhood.

Jung vs Freud.