Insurance Warrior Gifts

"This patient has a rare form of medical insurance."

'... No, I'm sorry, the doctor can't see you right now. Today's his prior authorization day.'

'What's the point of insurance if you don't use it?'

'The transplant went okay, but your insurance company is rejecting the bill.'

'We're trying to resolve your reimbursement issue or, at the very least, create another one for you.'

'Is there a treatment for insurance headache?'

'I'm afraid neither your insurance nor your immune system will cover it.'

'How did your meeting with your insurance company go?'

'Now, this is critical: Here we see the patient's wallet, and a closer look reveals an expired insurance card.'

M.D. Eye,Ear,Nose,Throat and Wallet.

Doctor Nelson is expensive.

"No, it won't pay for that either."

"I miss the good old days."

'This will cost you $300 an hour and your insurance won't cover it.'

'Your condition isn't hopeless, but your medical insurance is.'

'Let's see... 'Accidents... Alligators... Apes... Avalanches...' -- Sorry, sir. There's nothing in your policy about 'Arrows.''

'The doctor will see you for $75 -- $150 if he has to touch you.'

I think my body is rejecting your bill.

'How much medical skill are you willing to pay for?'

Open wide and say "AH @#." Bill.

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

The Cougher

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

Big slipper.

"We got the cactus account!"

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

Doctor's house visit "What's made him worse since I phoned Doctor was worrying about the cost of a house call"

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

"Unfortunately, our user-friendly toaster is warranty-unfriendly!"

Genius Bar

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

'...Then touch your toes twenty times.'

'Tread carefully...it's her extended unfair dismissal qualification period.'