Instrument Maintenance T-Shirts

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

"It ain't pretty. You got a bad flap-valve leak, and your tenor drones are all gunked up. It'll be a week at least, IF I can get the parts. I do got a loaner, but she ain't much."

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

Orchestra.

Jazz is Invented

'Play it again, Sam.'

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Cycling with a harp case

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Bassoons.

At times Richard dreaded coming home, as he knew he'd have to face the music.

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"Lovely dovetail."

My other cello is a Stradivari

Six jazz instruments.

Quartet.

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

"One more rinse and the inside of your car will be clean too, Dad."

Didgeridoo

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

King of Music.

"It took a lot of work to build this car..."

The Harper Plays Cricket.

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

Lazy plumber.

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

'You haven't heard anything yet!'