Instrument Fixer Pillows

"It ain't pretty. You got a bad flap-valve leak, and your tenor drones are all gunked up. It'll be a week at least, IF I can get the parts. I do got a loaner, but she ain't much."

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

Waiting for Pants

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

Computer operator welding machine.

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

No Instruments Please

"She does this when she's tired."

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

DIY.

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

Super glue . . .

Irritable dowel syndrome

The Invention of Bagpipes

'I find the ultrasonic whistle musically limiting, so I've invented an ultrasonic flute...'

"It's garage music."

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

'Are you ready for me to read the instructions yet?'

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager

Unfinished Furniture.

'I swapped the piano for Stewie's guitar.'

'Forget about going to the store for a bicycle patch. I used one of your nicotine patches.'

My other viola is a Stradivari.