Instruction Manual Explorer Gifts

'There's really no need for confusion. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L clearly explains ...'

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

Coffee Menu

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Coffee

'Whatever he's eating.'

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

'The customer is always right...'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

'Hard or soft science?'

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

Famous Oxymorons...

Heart Disease Menu

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."