Instruction Manual Explorer T-Shirts

'There's really no need for confusion. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L clearly explains ...'

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

'Whatever he's eating.'

Coffee

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Coffee Menu

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

'The customer is always right...'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'Hard or soft science?'

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

Famous Oxymorons...

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

Woman Window Shops For A Baby Book

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

Body Systems