Institution Inspector Gifts

'Institute for the study of innovative ways to get government grants'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

HELLth Food Sprouts

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

Fire door.

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"I'm going in."

Big Loan, Little Deposit Bank

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

"Office of quality assurance"

'Our menu is divided into three sections: Cancer causing foods, artery clogging foods, and foods that are being boycotted for political or environmental reasons.'

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

"Did you manage to pass the buck on our dodgy food?"

'He can dish it out but can he take it?'

Rusk Assessment Form

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

"Did you hear - we're being transferred from bomb-sniffing to trans fats."

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

Warning: Not giving milk is hazardous to your health.

307 days without an accident.

"IS this an unauthorised social gathering?"

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

'Call the health inspector! The kitchen has a Brussels sprouts infestation.'

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

Food inspection results