Inspection Defier Pillows

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"Office of quality assurance"

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

'We couldn't find anything wrong with your car, so all you owe us is for 2 hours of search.'

"The transformation is pretty bad, but the worst part is filling out the paperwork for the adverse events."

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"It says it's 100% ground beef. Only bones, brains, butts and eyeballs. Absolutely no pink slime added..."

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

Chef swatting flies into a bowl in a sushi bar.

'Why on Earth would you ask if this turkey is genetically modified?'

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

Man on treadmill with one leg in a cast.

The food inspector

'The food inspector, Sir!'

Food Uncertainty

"Freeze! We're taking a look at your additives, preservatives, artificial coloring..."

'What did you find in your soup?'

'We don't want to interfere to much, just a couple of things...what you do and how you do it!'

A woman sits in an office of the Food and Drug Administration in - out boxes marked MMMM Good and Oh - Bad.

Continue eating. Pay no attention to me. I'm from the food and drug administration.

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

'I'm amazed they had ANY meat in them.'

'He was using eggplant - another tragic case of apple pie fraud.'

Beef burgers without horse meat: the only guy you can trust!