Insomniac Sports Enthusiast Gifts

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

Thoughts of Stephen Harper...

Wake us up when the Olympics are over...

"Please stand and join us in half-assing your way through our national anthem."

'Team spirit, my ass.'

Tug the Toggle

'You're pregnant?'

'Good Now stuff that round thing in the hoop,,,, That's basketball,'

"Damn! I STILL can't sleep!"

'The sports seasons never end, now with all his fantasy leagues.'

'Oh, I hate sport too, but I just love reading the statistics...'

'On Tuesdays, I bowl.'

'It was working perfectly until his team lost 15-0'.

'There's a rumour we're all going to be released and forced to join the NFL.'

"John's golfing in his sleep again, Doctor! I forgot...do I wake him before or after he throws his clubs in the lake?"

"Batter up..."

Rejected Olympic Sports

Quite by accident one football hater kicked the ball to the other football hater, who kicked it back again...

Golfer on Pool Table

"No, not yet."

Football Meditation

The Couch-a-thon.

"Sorry, son, but you can't fast-forward through the time-outs. We're actually at the game."

"First off I'd like to thank Satan."

Man on island