Impatient Sports Fan Gifts

"Sorry, son, but you can't fast-forward through the time-outs. We're actually at the game."

"Good game."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Mixed Doubles.

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

Spring Training

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Raheem Sterling

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"

Sheltering in place.