Insightful Humorists Pillows

'So far, I've cleared my mind of everything except Angelina Jolie.'

Polly txt speak

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

Scarcity

Archimedes statue with a lever

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Alien embryo growing in earth.

The First Fire Stick

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"Puss in cement boots"

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Giant Monster in Bath

"She's a miniature."

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"He looks just like your husband."

Schrödinger and his cat

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

Limerick On A Grecian Urn