Insect Communicator T-Shirts

'Would you please stop struggling? You're damaging my web!'

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

The Worm Charmer

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

So you're a mocking bird...

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"You don't whisper anymore."

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

"Have you tried biting him?"

"We evolved from asteroids"

Mantis Love

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

Ants dressed as businessmen going to work.

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'

"I think it loves us."

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

Bee costume

"Hold that thought, my love. I'm listening – I just need to pee on those daylilies."

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

'I could eat you.'