Insect Communicator Pillows

'Would you please stop struggling? You're damaging my web!'

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

The Worm Charmer

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

So you're a mocking bird...

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"You don't whisper anymore."

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

"Have you tried biting him?"

"We evolved from asteroids"

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

Ants dressed as businessmen going to work.

Mantis Love

"I think it loves us."

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Hold that thought, my love. I'm listening – I just need to pee on those daylilies."

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

Bee costume

'I could eat you.'

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."