Inner Youth Hunter Gifts

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

"I'm not old enough to drive yet, but mom says this is good practice."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

Have you heard that time is not a constant, Randy? Of course, little buddy It's called "time dilation." Time moves slower for objects in motion than it does for objects that sit still. I'm a prime example. I haven't aged a day in decades. I still have rippling muscles, a smooth pelt, glistening teeth, twinkling eyes, a raging libido, and the boundless confidence of youth ... all because I'm always on the move. I'm writing a study on it for the Journal of Temporal Hotness. I've been meaning to as

"Spring Chicken"

"I've looked at their viewer profiles and if we watch this channel we'll be 20 years younger."

"Can you give me something that will send me back to 1969?"

"I do feel like my old self, but I want to feel like my young self!"

"I want someone I can grow old and have plastic surgery with."

These remarks are completely off the record

'I finally got in touch with my true inner self, and he's as bad as I am.'

'Oh grow up !' (Child annoying old couple drinking from fountain of youth).

"I can check again, but I'm pretty sure no one has handed in your lost youth."

'Take ten years off the top.'

"Professor Case, your longevity studies are just awesome."

Lots of People Would Consider Me Young...if they were alive today.

'Do you ever get the feeling that true inner peace is more darn trouble than it's worth?'

"That anti-aging cream worked wonders."

'This week he took me skateboarding. I think my inner child's trying to kill me.'

How Our Age Reflects Upon Us

"Have you ever been young before?"

'Looks like the Man in the Moon has been hitting the Botox again.'

"Sigh...I'm getting old."