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The Venerable Bede

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Squeezing the Free Press.

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Where Indian ink came from.

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

Stationers' sign leaking ink onto a passer-by.

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

'Good new. . . we're moving you to a bigger desk!'

Penny

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

-"Wife and kids?" -"No, a photo of a set of beautifully prepared accounts."

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

Shakespeare in the clink

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

Cut out and keep your own Jane Austen.

'I ink, therefore I am....'

"Why the hell would you want a bison on your arm?"

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"Not succinct or to the point Ambrose...just how we like it!"

Printers

Fenton always makes a backup hard copy of his mental notes.

Tattoo and Piercing...Stares by an angry, judgmental mother.

'I got confused by the news system so filed everything under 'M' for miscellaneous!'

"It's ironic. It looks like you're here because you're such a bad cartoonist."

'Sorry, but I think your Mondrian tattoo was a mistake.'

The Coffee Tattoo

Federal Bureau of Bureaucrats: 'Regulation - the mother's milk of politics!'