Ink And Parchment Aficionado Gifts

The Venerable Bede

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Squeezing the Free Press.

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Where Indian ink came from.

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

Stationers' sign leaking ink onto a passer-by.

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

'Good new. . . we're moving you to a bigger desk!'

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

Penny

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

-"Wife and kids?" -"No, a photo of a set of beautifully prepared accounts."

Shakespeare in the clink

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

'I ink, therefore I am....'

Cut out and keep your own Jane Austen.

"Why the hell would you want a bison on your arm?"

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"Not succinct or to the point Ambrose...just how we like it!"

Fenton always makes a backup hard copy of his mental notes.

Printers

International House of Paperwork

'I got confused by the news system so filed everything under 'M' for miscellaneous!'

"It's ironic. It looks like you're here because you're such a bad cartoonist."

Young woman shows off her tattoos.

The Coffee Tattoo

'Sorry, but I think your Mondrian tattoo was a mistake.'