Injury Twins Pillows

Man with broken leg in cast.

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

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"No, that was my twin brother. I was too chicken to cross the road."

'What's the plural of baby?'

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

man juggling career, home and children

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

Sloth traffic jam.

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

'I know just how you feel.'

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

'Oh, boy - stereo!'

"...Bug bites, barbecue and lawn mower...and you?"

'Actually the twins are not hard to tell apart. When I put them down, the one that cries is Dennis.'

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

'Very funny!'

'My chiropractor said that since I had the twins my posture has improved.'

'I think you're mistaking me for my twin sister.'

Man on treadmill with one leg in a cast.

'We really should ask the driver of that car for tips on coping with twins.'

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."

"For the last time, he didn't steal your identity. He's your twin!"

"The one on the left is Mary-Kate, the one on the right is Ashely. Beware them both."

Just Do It. Just Did It.

"Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with a nanny state."

I've got sharp pains in my ribs after playing sports.... - 'It's porbably muscular... just take pain killers.' - 'Could it be a cracked rib though?' - 'Possibly.' - 'What would I do if it was a cracked rib?' - 'Take more painkillers.' -

You're in luck! I'm the doctor who'll be patching you up after the match.