Twin Troubles Pillows

"Of course the computer showed us having a lot in common - we're twins!"

Express Check-out: Two babies or less

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

'Oh, boy - stereo!'

"I'm starting to believe that this relationship was doomed from the start...!"

"Yes, ma'am, we do take reservations...and what's your husband's name?"

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

"They're going through a bitter marriage."

'I just don't understand... We hate the same movies, books, art, music, friends and relatives, and we agree that the world's a hopeless mess. With all that in common, why is our marriage falling apart?'

'I don't like the look of yours...'

'I think you're mistaking me for my twin sister.'

"Sorry. No refunds."

"For the last time, he didn't steal your identity. He's your twin!"

"The one on the left is Mary-Kate, the one on the right is Ashely. Beware them both."

Later that day, little Johnny got in big trouble for playing with them.

Rubbish husband...

"Now take my life-partner...please...take my life-partner!!"

'What do you mean, you want a divorce?'

"Daddy, I know you gave me away, but can you take me back?"

"Fidelity, Ellen, stifles creativity."

'Sorry about that - Harry's into everything at the moment.'

"It's not gas...it's sibling rivalry."

"No, copy and paste has nothing to do with you being twins."

'Make it a quadruple.'