Inheritance Jokers Pillows

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

One of Many California Gene Pools

'Who put Grandad's teeth in the aquarium?'

'He has his father's feet.'

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

Solicitor tells cats: 'It's unorthodox, I know, but old Mrs Featherstone has left her entire estate to her immediate family.'

"Your aunt has bequeathed to you her collection of toilet paper, soap and towels from 385 hotels from all over the world."

"Mom said we're old enough to take care of you, so this is our new chain of command!"

'As you know, your father liked the sport of Boxing...'

'I'd like a puppy who's cute, playful, and can shoulder a lot of blame.'

'...and to you, he has left his leprosy.'

Printout in a genetics laboratory forming dna double helix

'Your Great Uncle has left you all his money in this family heirloom!'

'I don't like the look of this fish.' 'It had ugly parents.'

"I hope I age as well as you, Dad. Except for the neck."

'Well, if you DNA made you do it, I'm sentencing your DNA to thirty years in prison.'

"Is our fish fresh? Sure it is! My dad is just delivering the latest catch..."

'... and to my yoga instructor, I leave my entire body.'

"You're being let go. It's come to my attention that you have the laxy bastard gene"

'Now that we've got a new bull, is he the calf's stepfather?'

You know you're middle aged...

'...and to my darling little pussycat, Tiddles, I leave my budgerigar, two white mice and four goldfish.'

"Excluding our little granddaughter who calls me 'horrible old smellypops!'"