Inheritance Dividers Gifts

'Hold up everyone. I read that last part wrong. She wants you to divide the 'cash' equally.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

Contest of wills.

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"There's no money in your uncle's will. You are, however, directed to maintain his 5 cats and Facebook account."

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

'And now we come to the sore losers...'

Family Money - "I've been working on your family tree!"

"Your grandfather decided to put his entire fortune into a trust fund until Judgement Day."

'It seems in the case of the late Little Miss Tuffet, where there's a will there's a whey.'

Mother and child riding a DNA rollercoaster.

'One of these days this will all be yours and by then it should be making a profit.'

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

Tonight's Lecture: Contesting the Will. It's going to be about either inheritance law or who really wrote Shakespeare's plays.

God changes His will.

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

'And to my no good nephew Milo, who thought he was going to get all my cash - lots of luck!'

"My father was a very succesful man. He left me enough money that I could marry an idiot."

She's leaving me all her money.'

Now I'll read your father's 6th will and testament, which I'm sure you know may change a few more times.

'I hereby leave all my debts and overdrafts to the IRS. . .'

"When I'm gone all this will be yours son...but I'll be bankrupt by then so you'll probably get nothing!"