Inheritance Issues Gifts

'It would have been easier to prove your father was of sound mind when he wrote this will if he hadn't written it on the headed notepaper of the psychiatric hospital in which he'd been sectioned.'

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. ... Actually, you know what? You can have it now."

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

"One day son, all this will be run by robots."

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

"Someday this will all be yours...assuming that someday you'll have enough to buy it from me."

"And to my son Frank, I leave my greenhouse in the country."

Contest of wills.

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"There's no money in your uncle's will. You are, however, directed to maintain his 5 cats and Facebook account."

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. Sorry."

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."