Inheritance Analyst Pillows

"It's good news Mr. meek - according to this, you HAVE actually inherited the Earth...!"

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"...and the asparagus this evening is delightful. It's been simmering all day in the tears of the poor."

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

'You say voters in many areas can't relate to me?'

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

'I like to use the Law as a jumping off point.'

Mother and child riding a DNA rollercoaster.

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

"Unless you really don't like one of your children, it's best to leave your debt divided equally between them."

'One of these days this will all be yours and by then it should be making a profit.'

Vote GOP: 'Lowering taxes for the rich creates jobs, in the huge demand for security guards!'

God changes His will.

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

'I hereby leave all my debts and overdrafts to the IRS. . .'

'Excluding our little granddaughter who called me 'orrible old smellypops!'

"My father was a very succesful man. He left me enough money that I could marry an idiot."

'I'll read the will.' - 'I don't like the look of this.'