Inheritance Insiders Pillows

'I arrived in this country with

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

Man about executive: 'Success went to his head. There was plenty of room there.'

Mother and child riding a DNA rollercoaster.

"Unless you really don't like one of your children, it's best to leave your debt divided equally between them."

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

'One of these days this will all be yours and by then it should be making a profit.'

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

'This thing is dangerous! -- invent fire and burn it up!'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

God changes His will.

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

'Your uncle had a very unusual will.'

She's leaving me all her money.'

'I hereby leave all my debts and overdrafts to the IRS. . .'

'Excluding our little granddaughter who called me 'orrible old smellypops!'

"My father was a very succesful man. He left me enough money that I could marry an idiot."