Information Hunter Gifts

Questions Online

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'Here's MY information highway!'

"It's such a lovely day!"

Computer: 'There are some things it is better not to know.'

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

Wikipedia...

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

"All the celebrities come here."

'Have you tried removing the blindfold?'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'Okay, let's go over this again: You tell me your great ideas, I repeat them back to you, then you tell me I have a great idea and I get all the credit for it!'

Down With Wikipedia

Censorship.

Spelling a newspaper

'What makes you think you know so much?' - 'Your questions.'

"No, wisdom is not hereditary, it's something you need to earn yourself..."

'I'm afraid we can't make it. Harry just finished watching Meet the Press, C-Span, Face the Nation, Fox News Sunday, the Sunday Times, Newsweek, Time...'

"Stop! Information overload. I need to rebuffer."

'That book is still floating around the system.'

''Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense' Thomas Huxley, 1825-1895.'

Where the hell did you get that brain ?

"...And in the dream, I was angry at my mother, so I told her she never gave me the love I needed... What do you think it means?"

"I'm referring you to a specialist."

The Wiki Man.

"The search for a new painkiller has been a real headache."

What passes today for 'nose in a book'.

"Anyone having a 'Eureka!' moment?"

ME, MEDITATING ON NO-SELF

Free Internet Access

You could have saved yourself a lot of time my reading my syndicated advice column.

This is Mr Smith from Big Data Mining. He says he's found an insight.

'What the hell is PIG IRON?'