Informal Conversationalists T-Shirts

"Why are we British so obsessed ... with talking about the weather?"

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

Babble. Pbl. Babama. Bbb. Brb. Bod.

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"Dude, Amazon is so popular they named a river after it."

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

The Schmoozy Reaper

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

No, no, don't tell me … you lost weight? You cut your hair? Wait, did you used to wear glasses?

Mobile Phones, "Now we are together we will proceed to the business of the day."

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Person talks on phone as other blogs.